Hidden Desires: Part 4 No ratings yet.

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ALLISON’S DIARY

Sometime after we’ve graduated high school, Michael and I fought a lot. There was this one fight that was particularly bad. Michael told me that his mother walked out on him and his sister. So I invited Michael over so he could talk about it.

“How are you feeling?” I asked.

“My mother walked out on me,” Michael said. “What do you think?”

“I get it. You’re upset. I don’t blame you.”

“You have no idea what I’m going through.”

“I don’t. But I’m here for you.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m assuming that your sister isn’t doing any better.”

“No. She’s all over the place. She thinks our mother never wanted a family. Shelly’s also in denial about our mother verbally abusing us.”

Michael handed me the letter his mother wrote.

A LETTER TO MICHAEL AND SHELLY

To Michael and Shelly.

I haven’t been the best mother, far from it. I’ve pretty much been neglectful. I’ve never paid much attention to either one of you. I was always working or I looked for any excuse to stay out of the house.

But when I was home, I always yelled the both of you. Not to mention that I’ve always insulted you.

The abuse that I have inflicted on you was the same abuse your father has inflicted
on me.

When your father was deployed overseas, I worked about 60-80 hours a week, to keep a roof over our heads. That’s what I kept telling you to. But to truth is, I worked all of those hours to escape my emotions.

When your father left, it gave me time to think. I could have stayed home and repair my relationship with the two of you, but I’m too emotionally drained.

I’ve moved in with your aunt for a while and I’m seeking counselling. You don’t have to worry about the bills, because I’ll still pay them, even the cable bill. My goal is to reunite with you two by Christmas.

Love, Mom.



ALLISON’S DIARY

“Wow! That’s brutal,” I said.

“That’s all you have to say?” Michael asked.

“What else do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know. But it sounds like you don’t care.”

“How the fuck could you say that? You’re my boyfriend and I love you and you don’t think I care?”

“I’m sorry. I’m just stressed out.”

“You still hurt my feelings!”

“I’m sorry. But you don’t know what it’s like to have a mother like mine.”

“Like hell, I don’t! Did your mother ever have a mental breakdown over something arbitrary or over something she makes up in her head? I bet you don’t. If anything, you don’t know what it’s like to have a mother like mine! I don’t want to see you, now. Get out of my house!”

“I’m going through hell and you’re starting a fight with me!”

Michael got up and he walked toward me as he was yelling at me and I punched him in
the face.

“You hit me!” Michael said. “You fucking hit me!”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “It’s that you came toward me and I was just so overwhelmed.”

MICHAEL’S DIARY

The next day, I went over to Allison’s house.

“How are you feeling?” Allison asked.

“My mother walked out on me,” I said. “So, I’m feeling like crap.”

“You’re upset. I don’t blame you.”

“You have no idea what I’m going through.”

“I don’t. But I’m here for you.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m assuming that your sister isn’t doing any better.”

“No. She’s all over the place. She thinks our mother never wanted a family. Shelly’s also in denial about our mother verbally abusing us.”

“That’s brutal. My parents are pressuring to go to college. I wanted to at first, just to get away from them, but I still don’t know what I want to do with my life yet, even though I’m 19 years old.”

“At least you have your parents. My father is in the military and I’ve never heard from him in weeks. So I don’t know if he’s dead or alive and my mother walked out.”

I handed Allison the letter my mother wrote.

“That’s brutal,” Allison said. “I thought my mother was a bitch. Well, she still is. Maybe I can cheer you up.”

Allison looked through her phone.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“I have no idea how to fix your family issues,” Allison said. “But maybe I can try to get your mind off of things. Maybe I can show you a cat video or something. Fuck. My phone. You can take a look at it?”

I took a look at Allison’s phone and it was frozen.

“I’m going to have to reset your phone,” I said.

“Don’t. You’re going to screw up my phone,” Allison said.

Allison snatched the phone from my hands.

“You could have asked for it back,” I said jokingly.

“Oh my!” Allison said. “I’m not doing anything to you!”

“I didn’t say you were!” I said. “Are you Okay?”

“You’re not the only one who’s upset. I’ve had a lot on my mind lately.”

“Like what?”

“I’m sick of how you always fall asleep on me. I’m still thinking about how you ignored me on my birthday. I spend more money on you than you spend on me. During the holidays, I spend money on your family and you don’t spend anything on my family. Every time we fight, you run to your sister like a how a child runs to his mommy.”

“You’ve got to be shitting me! I fall asleep because I work two jobs. I’ve never ignored you on your birthday, so you’re making shit up. And you’re complaining about money? Are you that fucking shallow? And you say I run to my sister about everything like a child. Fuck off!”

Allison punched me in the face, giving me a black eye.

“You just hit me!” I yelled.

“You’re damn right I did!” Allison yelled. ”That’s because you’re treating me like
shit!”

“You’re an abusive bitch.”

“I’m not abusive!”

Allison kept punching me, and I just kept blocking her hits. Eventually, she stopped hitting me.

“I’m not abusive!” Allison screamed. “Get out of my house!”

“Fine by me,” I said sternly. “But lay off the Lipton Bitch Iced Tea.”

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