Advice for Incels No ratings yet.

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Incel is short for involuntary celibacy.

Back in the late 2000’s and early 2010’s, incel was a word to describe a group of lonely men and women who had trouble in the dating world.

Today, incel is a word to describe a group of men who desperately want girlfriends, but they’re just too bitter to be nice to women. That’s not always the case, though. Some incels are gay men and some are women.

Richard Big is a 48-year-old cisgender straight man. Richard claimed that he has never been on a date. He also claims that he’s a virgin.

“I kissed a girl once, and I liked it.”

“I kissed a girl once, and I liked it,” Big says. “But that’s only because a group of friends and I played spin-the-bottle. I dress nice, and I work out. I take good care of myself. I’m also very nice and I have a lot of female friends. But they aren’t attracted to me. I can’t get a date because I’m a troll.”

Psychologist Dr. Don Noble chimed in.

“Men and women want physical attraction,” Noble says. “Unfortunately, physical attraction is a deal breaker. The good news is that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.” asked Dr. Noble what else attracts women.

“Women want confident men,” Dr. Noble said. “Ironically, women want men who are confident enough to be single. Women also want men to be independent. An example of this would be running your own business.”

Mr. Big used to sell spam online. The bad news is that Big’s business flopped.

“Nobody’s buying my spam anymore,” Big said. “I give up. I’m so lonely.”

Dr. Noble has finally come up with a  temporary solution to cope with being incel.

“It’s up to those who call themselves incel, to make chances with their lives; to live happier lives.  But if a man feels that he’ll never get a significant other, no matter what he does, a temporary solution involves an internet connection, a box of tissues, and your right hand. Although, you can switch to your left hand once in a while.”


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